In taking this self help quiz you may be surprised at the end. So take a piece of paper and write the numbers 1-40.  Then select the answer (never, seldom, occasionally, often, usually) that is your first impulse.  If you second guess yourself you are being dishonest and this could lower your self esteem.  There is no perfect answer just do the best you can and get ready to learn about your boundaries. If you choose to, this could be a start of your healing journey.

never                   _  seldom         _             occasionally           _          often                            usually

1. I’d rather help another than take care of myself.
2. Others’ opinions and beliefs are more important than my own.
3. Others use or take my things without asking.
4. I am uncomfortable asking for what I want or need.
5. I feel responsible for others’ feelings.
6. I don’t have much alone time.
7. I get angry or irritated with others.
8. I’d rather go along with others than say what I want to do.
9. I feel guilty or bad for being so different from others.
10. I feel anxious, fearful, or stressed.
11. I spend most of my time helping others and I don’t tend to my wants or needs.
12. I feel empty in life like something is missing.
13. I feel hurt.
14. I react and I am sensitive to criticism.
15. I tend to be loyal in relationships even though I am being hurt.
16. I feel sad.
17. I tend to feel what others are feeling or take those feeling on myself. 
18. I tend to take on the moods of those close to me.
19. It’s difficult for me to know what I believe or think.
20. I feel my happiness depends on things outside myself.
21. I feel good.
22. I have a difficult time knowing what I feel.
23. I can’t decide about things.
24. I find it hard to say no to people.
25. I feel my happiness depends on others.
26. I am uncomfortable looking others in the eyes.
27. I find I get involved with others who end up hurting me in some way.
28. I tend to trust others right off.
29. I see myself tending to get involved with those that are bad for me.
30. It is difficult for me to make decisions.
31. It is difficult for me to keep a confidence or secret that is shared with me.
32. I tend to get caught up and in the middle of other people’s problems.
33. If someone I am with in public acts up, I feel embarrassed.
34. I lend others money and don’t get it back on time.
35. Some never pay me back.
36. I feel ashamed or embarrassed.
37. It is not easy for me to know in my heart my relationship with a Higher Power or God as I know it.
38. I want to rely on what others believe about spiritual or religious matters.
39. I feel I put more into relationships than I receive from those relationships.
40. My friends or acquaintances have a hard time keeping secrets or confidences which I share with them.

Does this sound familiar?  Your life is so chaotic that you’re on the run.  Sit down dinner time is non existent because of your schedule. You eat whenever you can and overeating has become a habit.  What is chosen here is the value of chaos with no boundaries for your health and nourishing yourself.

Let’s begin by defining a boundary or a limit.  Think of it this way, how far can you or another go in a relationship and still be comfortable.  Your relationship with yourself could be in chaos too. The key here is to know when you are uncomfortable and have enough self-esteem to decide to limit in some way. As one example, you might apply this limit setting to your food intake. Knowing who you are begins with your boundaries or limits.  As you state your boundaries to others you can then sort out who is safe and who is not by the way another either respects your boundaries or does not.

How can you know what your boundaries and limits are when you may have grown up in a family that didn’t have healthy boundaries?  Who can learn healthy boundaries when there was no one to model clear limits or boundaries?  The forty Self Help Quiz Questions can help you to begin to know your limits.